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Joke of the Day

"When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the girl with glitter on her face does."

"""I'm never drinking again."" -someone who will drink again"

"What's a mathematician's favorite plant? The geome-tree!"

"I asked my chemist friend if it took him 4 years to get his degree... He said ""Sodium Bromate."""

"good artists copy ,, great artists steal i say to myself as i shove several marley and me dvds into my pants. im a dog lover wat can i say"

"I don't understand chinese philosophy. It Confucius me."

"Spoiler alert: The company that's paying for the commercial always wins the taste test."

"An electrician beat himself with live wires His wife called the police He was charged with battery."

"Why couldn't the Tuba player get a date? He was too low key."

"I heard they were going to fine bad drivers $100 on the spot. That's bit sexist, isn't it?"