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Joke of the Day
"What does a doughnut have in common with a nut? They dough nut have anything in common."
Next Joke
"Oh thank goodness, you posted another selfie. I almost forgot what you looked like since the selfie 5 minutes ago."
"What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? You can't make a vita-min. But you can make a hor-mone!"
"Batman (1989): An orphan fights a clown"
"Someone hired a sloth with a knife to murder me, he's in my driveway, so I have 6-8 months to live"
"I hate that random song you hear in the morning and gets stuck in your head all day long."
"My wife is suffering from depression. She phoned me the other day and said ""I feel like jumping in front of a bus and you're not doing anything to help"". So I sent her a timetable."
"Doctors love to slip in that worst case scenario. ""It could be a cold or strep throat or WEST NILE VIRUS but I'm sure it's nothing."""
"Why can hipsters listen to Michael Jackson again? He's been underground for five years now."
"Piglet: *sees recipe book* Honey-glazed...Pooh, what's ham? WinniethePooh: A food that goes well with honey. Now, how about a nice hot bath?"