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Joke of the Day

"Hubs proposed to me with a really cool flash mob and a medley of Nirvana hits. JK. He was like, ""I wanna marry you."" And I was like, ""K."""

"I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY but I'll take it."

"So evidently the kid who stabbed all the people at his highschool today was always told he would be famous. He felt like today was the day to take a stab at it."

"They say that 1 out of 3 people has cheated on their relationship I'm not sure if it's my wife or my girlfriend."

"If my friends circle was a pizza... ...I would be the crust"

"What is it that's red. Reddit."

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter? Santa would never free an elf."

"I'm not ashamed to say that when I saw everyone was getting these new ""selfie sticks"" for Xmas I thought it was some new fantastic deodorant"

"So if my girlfriend can have multiple orgasms, why can't I have multiple girlfriends?"

"My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale... I gave her some bread crumbs and left her in the forest."