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Joke of the Day
"I was watching CSI and they found some semen in a woman's ear I guess she heard the killer coming"
Next Joke
"My brother wanted me to watch his kid So I spent HOURS and HOURS childproofing my house. Wouldn't you know it? That fucker still got in."
"Had to go and find a stepladder yesterday. I never knew my real ladder."
"Boss: Anyone have anything else to add to this meeting? Me: Yes. I am awesome. Boss.... Me: Write that shit down."
"If I was a bodybuilder I would slather up with grease and slide to work instead of driving to save money."
"Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down."
"We play cop games because my boyfriend likes to ""discharge his weapon."""
"Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things."
"Why did Plato's worst student always have stuff stuck in his teeth? He didn't understand Flossophy!"
"I'm a club photographer, I take pictures at the club and people pay me to delete them"