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Joke of the Day

"Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things."

"What is the most overused force in science? Van der Waals."

"Saw a man selling umbrellas in the rain today. He ironically was umbrella-less. When I asked him why, he replied: ""Man, I don't stay dry off my own supply."""

"A duck walks into a pharmacy and buys some chapstick. He says to the cashier ""put it on my bill""."

"Why is Iron Man Italian? Because to get him you have to rig-a-tony.."

"Best Way to deal with High School Bullies: Grow up to be smarter, richer and better looking than them and then add them on Facebook."

"I started working on my 2nd million this year... Gave up on the first..."

"Chicken and an egg are sitting in bed... Egg says in a angry huff ""I guess we answered THAT question!"""

"I am a man with Alzheimer's, AMA! EDIT: Why is everyone asking me questions?"

"Kanye West compared his relationship with Kim Kardashian to Romeo and Juliet. So we won't have to deal with them too much longer, you guys."