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Joke of the Day

"Mistakes married men make: 1. Doing things. 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things."

"What did the hippie say about all of the math problems? They're all, like, equal to me..."

"What does a bunny do to a bank? Rabbit"

"This cab driver is THE WORST. I keep telling him ""You passed my house, let me out"" & he's all like ""Sir I'm a cop and your under arrest for public nudity and intoxication."""

"Doctor how do I stop my nose from running?! Stick your foot out and trip it up!"

"Best Hitler Joke That I've Heard Me: ""Hitler Killed 5 million Jews and a Penguin."" Friend: ""What? A Penguin?"" Me: ""See, no one wants to know about the Jews."""

"*Holds door for woman *Slams door in her boyfriend's face"

"The basketball shot clock was invented in 1954 after a player hid the ball under his shirt for 48 minutes and told everyone he was pregnant."

"""Why is it that whenever there's two women in a profile pic the hot one is always someone else..?"""

"What do you call a hypocritical member of the church of Latter Day Saints? an oxy-mormon. or, all of them."