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Joke of the Day
"We play cop games because my boyfriend likes to ""discharge his weapon."""
Next Joke
"All this talk about Trump hating immigrants... Yet he married two of them."
"I have two short jokes and one long joke. . . Joke Joke Joooooooooooooooooooke. (I apologize to everyone. That one offended even me.)"
"locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic the other day. It turns out they get really pissed when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger"
"I like to think the automatic soap dispenser is just really happy to see me."
"Floyd Mayweather won because of an unfair advantage. He gets to practice in the gym all day and then goes home and practices on his family."
"Today I learned the Nazis were instrumental in the creation of Tang and other powdered fruit drinks But it didn't get far since Hitler hated the juice."
"""My homework ate my dog"" -student in python breeding class"
"Doctor and patient Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""
"And on the 8th day, God almost created Lionel Richie but was all like ""Naw, I'll just hold off a few thousand years then one day HELLO!"""