210506

Joke of the Day

"What did Christian Grey say when he read reviews of his movie? ""People did not like my movie. I guess I am 50 shades of letdown... But I can sure GET UP""!"

"Last Valentine's day I recieved so many cards from my girlfriends that I couldn't open the front door... Because my wife had the locks changed"

"Interviewer: ""I heard you were extremely quick at math"" Me: ""yes, as a matter of fact I am"" Interviewer: ""Whats 14x27"" Me: ""49"" Interviewer: ""that's not even close"" me: ""yeah, but it was fast"""

"Beauty is only skin deep... but it sure looks good on the ladies."

"So my lesbian neighbours asked me what I wanted for my birthday... They got me a Rolex. I guess they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch""."

"My wife says I'm irresponsible with money! No change there then."

"How I view dogs: Beagle, German Shepherd, Poodle, Pitbull, Labrador. How I view cats: Cat, cat, cat, cat."

"A kind man helped me with wood chopping today I really appreciate the random axe of kindness."

"Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about how when you fall in love, it's best to just kill yourself."

"It's because it's Bring Your Daughter To Work Day, sweetie. That's why. What Papa is doing right now is called an ""autopsy"". Stop crying."