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Joke of the Day

"*notices ham sandwich while searching inside myself* 'wait, if that's here' *son opens lunchbox to find debilitating existential malaise*"

"A Trump Irony How is Trump going to keep immigrants out if he can't keep protesters from crashing his rally?"

"Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? *She ran away from the ball.*"

"How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne? It's when the blind try to read your face."

"Seven days with no food makes Juan week."

"It's the worst night of the year for my dog and cat... Their names are Pots and Pans."

"Went to the zoo today. There was only one animal. It was a ""shitzu."""

"I'm having problems with my cat, He told me i was a prima-donna, which makes no sense. She became famous in the 80's and I was born in '93. I am most certainly post-Madonna."

"9: Whatcha watching? Me: Tiny Houses. 9: Wow it's tiny! Who's gonna live there? Me: Two people. 9: Are they married? Me: Not for long."

"What's the difference between a redwood and a dead baby? A redwood won't fit in a wood chipper."