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Joke of the Day

"I've gone from agony to ecstasy in this last week. Hopefully, by the end of this month... ...I'll be done reading this dictionary."

"Why is UPS so great? They always deliver!"

"A Mexican Magician... A Mexican magician says he will dissappear on the count of three. Uno... Dos... *poof* He's disappeared... Without a tres."

"What happened at the Mr. Softee when someone spiked the syrups with Viagra? The whole place turned into a Hardee's."

"Why did the thesaurus have a creeping feeling? He had an antonym."

"Two sowing machines are sitting in a bar.. And one says, *""Are you a singer?""* Then the other replies, *""Why? Janome?""*"

"Boy-Girl Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No... Girl: I am the principal's daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No... Boy: Good! *walks away*"

"Molestation isn't funny! Seriously it's a touchy subject."

"Marriage is a 3 ring circus. . . The engagement ring, The wedding ring And the suffeRING."

"What do You Call Someone Who Self Harms In The Antarctica? An eskemo....."