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Joke of the Day

"I've gone from agony to ecstasy in this last week. Hopefully, by the end of this month... ...I'll be done reading this dictionary."

"I bet God's email spam box is filled with all the prayers from athletes."

"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance We'll see about that."

"I had a dream about you saving my life! A poison snake bit my dick..."

"Why are there no Jews on Jupiter? Because it's a gas planet."

"Did you guys hear about the award winning farmer? Apparently he was outstanding in his field. [modified repost]"

"My niece thinks she's more mature than me because she listens to Beethoven. His movies sucked plus why would I wanna listen to dog music?"

"Life Advice Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

"5 scientists out of 6 say that russian roulette is safe"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One-to hold the bulb to the socket while the world revolves around them."