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Joke of the Day

"Alarm clock that releases spiders... NOW you're up. Million dollar idea."

"A man walks into the head office of a click-bait news site... ...what happens next will shock you!!!"

"What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blowjobs? One's a Goodyear; the other's a great year."

"What do bostonians call dogs that protect heaven's gates? God dogs"

"What kind of fish is made of only two sodium molecules? 2 na"

"I recently wrote a book about poltergeists.... They're flying off the shelves!!! (Credit goes to jimmy Carr on that one)"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? That's not funny."

"What does a Stripper do with her asshole before she goes to work? She drops him off at band practice."

"Why is it so hard to pull over on the Pirate Highway? Because there's a parrot on the shoulder."

"Donald Trump says he went to the University of Pennsylvania, but I could have sworn he went to Syracuse. Because he sure is an Orange Man."