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Joke of the Day

"What do bostonians call dogs that protect heaven's gates? God dogs"

"I like to think of myself as a guy who doesn't scare too easily but I just beat the shit out of a motion activated air freshener."

"Friends may come and go, but friends with benefits cum and go"

"What type of job does T-Rex have? He is small arms dealer"

"Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge. "

"Do you like cats? Me too. But I can never finish one by myself"

"I make the McDonald's guy eat a McDouble with me like when people buy shots for the bartender"

"What do you call an angry, seafaring mathematician? -rate!!!"

"You've really gotta hand it to short people because they usually can't reach it anyways"

"THERAPIST: what's the problem? WIFE: he replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise"