210423

Joke of the Day

"I went to the library and tried to take home a book on suicide The librarian said ""fuck off, you won't bring it back!"""

"She criticized my apartment... So I knocked her flat"

"I saw this really fit girl in the nightclub last night and she was wearing a chessboard patterned shirt..... So, I made a move on her."

"I bet people who see Jesus in a grilled cheese sandwich freak out over latte art."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made with the juice of the fruit."

"(Season 4 spoilers ) Why did a cock named Oberyn Martell kill the KFC cook? ""You raped her! ! You murdered her! ! You killed her children! !"

"I bet firemen ""super-bidet"" each other when they're bored."

"What did the OCD man get thrown in jail for? Organized crime."

"Me: Do you want anything from Chipotle? CW: Yeah....just surprise me. Me: *comes back with no food* SURPRISE!"

"I think my virginity has grown back."