27296

Joke of the Day

"I saw this really fit girl in the nightclub last night and she was wearing a chessboard patterned shirt..... So, I made a move on her."

"In a parallel universe, one sock goes in the washer/dryer and two come out."

"Two muffins are in an oven First muffin turns and says ""damn it's hot in here"" The second muffin says "" holy sh!t, A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"What do you say to give an electrician encouragement? ""You conduit!"""

"[OC] A man goes on the hunt.... for the seven men involved in his father's murder. The man kills them all. I guess you could say his father was... ""Avenged, Sevenfold."""

"Why Was Jill upest about the new iphone? because there was no jack."

"5yo slooowly walks by: ""Hi, mom and dad."" 4yo slooowly walks by: ""Hi, mom and dad."" CODE RED CODE RED"

"Hostage or not, sometimes it's just nice to be held."

"No thanks CVS, I don't need a bag. I'll just wrap up my purchase in the 12 foot receipt you just gave me."

"How do you find white Canadian reggae musician Snow in the snow? You ask an informer"