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Joke of the Day

"She criticized my apartment... So I knocked her flat"

"Teacher : Why are you reading the last pages of your history book first ? Pupil: I want to know how it ends !"

"Looking into buying a Saturn Ion sedan.. All the reviews I have read have been positive or negative."

"Whats the difference between congress and a US mint? One of them makes sense!"

"Dora the explorers parents don't give any kind of shit about Dora. She's 7 and she's flying planes and shit to South America with a monkey!"

"What's the difference between a brown noser and an ass kisser? Depth perception."

"Why did Susie fall of the swing set? Because she had no arms."

"Lol at birds that walk places."

"They used to be called ""Jumpolines"" ...until your mom jumped on one back in 1972."

"I should start a wine company and name the bottles things like ""don't be sad"" ""he's not worth it"" ""you deserve better""!"