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Joke of the Day

"But you didn't pick up Two Types of People: ---- 1. I called you but you didn't pickup ---- 2. I called you from my iPhone 6 Plus 64 GB and you didn't pickup."

"Johnny Depp's wife of just over a year Filed for Divorce today... With NO prenup...She is gonna get soooooo many bracelets."

"Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don't have them, you cry about it."

"What does an Asian prostitute say to asbestos workers? Meso horny."

"""There are plenty more fish in the sea."" Terrible way to console a recently-dumped environmentalist who knows overfishing means otherwise."

"I told the butcher I'd give him $10 if he got the meat down off the top shelf. He said he couldn't.... the steaks were too high."

"Why do you never touch the red dot on an Indian person's forehead? They will self destruct"

"Why don't seagulls fly in the bay? Because they don't want to be bagels."

"Why didn't the Mexican go now hunting? Because he didn't habanero."

"It's a fact that Hitler's mother was a female so you can blame women for the holocaust"