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Joke of the Day

"The Human Centipede wasn't that bad really.. ...most of it was tongue in cheek."

"Q: Why don't Deputy Fire Marshals look out the window in the morning? A: So they have something to do in the afternoon."

"What do you say to a pregnant woman who wants to force her child to become a Rabbi? When is the baby Jew?"

"Never know what to say at funerals. ""Sorry I ran over him"" just feels so hollow."

"Whats the difference between a porcupine and a police car. A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside."

"ACTORS: It's easy to appear blind. Look near but never at someone when you talk to them, and if anyone says ""Did you see that?"" say ""Nope""."

"In a parallel universe, cartoons are watching us and thinking ""how sad, they die if you drop an anvil on their heads..."""

"Joe Jackson is the first father in history to successfully beat the black out of his son. http://i.imgur.com/AbZiowN.jpg"

"Why did Mary fall off the swing?... ... Because she had no arms. Knock, knock! (Who's there?) Well, it ain't Mary."

"Using my son's raincoat as a hat so my hair doesn't get messed up. He's doing the cutest little shivers!"