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Joke of the Day

"Why did Mary fall off the swing?... ... Because she had no arms. Knock, knock! (Who's there?) Well, it ain't Mary."

"I like my women like I like my M.C. Escher paintings Impossibly proportioned"

"I once tried to overdose on Viagra. It was the hardest time of my life.."

"Q: Why is a train like a stick of gum? A: One goes choo-choo; the other goes chew-chew."

"Do you know what a Freudian slip is? It's when you mean one thing but fuck your mother."

"What did one egg cell say to the other? I'm not ovary fond of you"

"Whats up? My dick."

"[in heaven after crucifixion] jesus: ""they were horrible dad, im pleased im not going back there"" god: [rubbing his neck] ""see the thing is"""

"I saw a man the other day arguing with a traffic sign The sign looked incredibly uncomfortable. It really wanted him to Stop."

"Right about now, Sarah Palin is sipping coffee and picking her next factually incorrect thing to say. And Glenn Beck is chasing a squirrel."