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Joke of the Day

"""Did you just say something?"" ""Uhhh nope?"" ""Really? I could swear you just asked me if I wanted a hotdog."" ""No I didn't."" ""Good, because I'm vegan."""

"A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says ""We don't allow Higgs Bosons in here."" The Higgs Boson replied, ""Well, without me, you can't have mass."""

"Remember, your toilet is just afraid of you as you are of it."

"Reporter: To what do you attribute your old age? Old Man: To the fact that I was born in 1890."

"How many goals did Germany score? A brazillian"

"I suspect the number 200 sometimes impersonates the word ZOO."

"What's the difference between talking to your wife after you forgot something and a minefield? You can actually get through the minefield alive."

"What does a vegetarian hunter say before dinner? ""Lettuce prey"""

"Reading texts you sent when you were drunk is like terrifying digital archeology."

"Fastest way to occupy bored kids is to announce we are going to clean Voila Suddenly they all remember plans they've forgotten Ah quiet"