100705

Joke of the Day

"I will literally punch you in the throat the next time you misuse the word ""literally""."

"50 Cent has filed for bankruptcy, he will now be known as 50. Story is he doesn't have a cent to his name. *drops the mic walks away*"

"Pretending you're dead to avoid conversation in the hospital is the worst way to learn how a defibrillator works."

"What does a toddler get drunk off of? Jack Danimals!"

"What's the difference between an amusement park and a pedophile? A pedophile doesn't have a height limit"

"What's a 6.9? A great thing ruined by a period."

"Doctor Strange, Weird Al, and Oddjob walk into a bar... that's a very unusual event."

"What happens when you give a politician viagra? He gets taller"

"More like ""science UN-fair"" *I walk away in slo-mo. The building explodes with baking soda lava* *I roll a smoke with my 2nd place ribbon"

"What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison? One can't see to go the other can't go to sea."