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Joke of the Day

"My favorite Skrillex song is the one where he drops a spoon into the garbage disposal and steps on a cat's tail."

"How many times does it take for a woman on period to change a lightbulb? IT WILL TAKE THE TIME IT FUCKING NEEDS !!!"

"An app to tase restaurant owners who call appetizers ""apps"""

"[Weather Channel Secret Memo] To technical crews: If blizzard doesn't reach predicted intensity, shoot all exteriors through snow-globes."

"To me, suicide seems selfish. For all I know, someone else might want to kill me"

"Somewhere in the world, there's a real Nigerian Prince who wants to share his millions of dollars but can't find a beneficiary."

"Why doesn't anyone in [insert nations capital] use the toilet in the morning? So they have something to do at night."

"I was gonna make a Justin Bieber joke.. But, Sorry."

"Q. What did the fog say to the light rain after her vacation? A. I mist you."

"What is it called when a Jewish woman ovulates? An Eggsodus."