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Joke of the Day

"*crowd in 1889 screaming because I appeared out of thin air and shot a baby* that was Baby Hitler...everyone calm down that was Baby Hitler"

"I was going to sue U2 for stealing one of my songs But I found out my lawyer was pro-bono."

"Greatest Fears: -Sharks -Ebola -Bears -Bear Sharks -Bear Sharks with Ebola -Sharks with Lazers -Man carrying a clipboard on the sidewalks"

"Reddit, what good thing got ruined? Reddit."

"What's the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver? A schoolteacher says ""Spit out that toffee"" and a train says ""Choo choo."""

"Q.What do me and a mirror have in common? A.When we see your face we both crack up!"

"I just went on a date with a woman that had 12 nipples.. Sounds funny, dozen tit?"

"I tried to read through Dante's Inferno once, but it was dry as hell."

"What did the Atlantic say to the Pacific? Nothing. It just waved."

"I Hate Watching Romantic Movies at the Cinema I hate watching romantic movies at the cinema because I'm the only one who laughs, especially at those crying in front of me."