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Joke of the Day

"We're gathered here today to mourn the loss of Derek. His last words were ""Watch me try and keep my eyes open while sneezing!"""

"Why are women dressed white on their wedding day? because all good kitchen appliances come in white."

"Nintendo just announced the first haunted tower for Pokemon GO The New World Trade Center"

"Being a dog with no legs - it's no walk in the park"

"What's black and all over the place? Michael J Fox's signature."

"What do you call a rooster who is okay with his wife screwing other cocks? A cluckold."

"If your opinion about global warming is based on the weather outside then you don't deserve to have an opinion about global warming"

"Experience is a cruel teacher. It gives a test before presenting the lesson."

"I met the inventor of the crossword last week. Can't remember his name. P something T something R."

"Hamburger My Chinese girlfriend came up with this, please don't groan. Where do you go to get a burger on the internet? McDownloads!"