192392

Joke of the Day

"Cheer up Hillary Clinton. Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president, until after serving 27 years in prison."

"A very tough question to answer If con is the opposite of pro, then isn't Congress the opposite of progress?"

"A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He's now a seasoned veteran."

"Sometimes I answer your rhetorical questions because I think you are that stupid."

"Me: I think we need to break up Her: Now is not a good time Me: Okay *we ride the rollercoaster in silence*"

"Why Beyonce? Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights..."

"If all the women in the world died at once.... It would be a pain in the arse"

"I tried to walk into Target... But I missed. - Mitch Hedberg RIP."

"I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn't even lift him. We high-fived & laughed."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said that's a big word for a nine year old."