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Joke of the Day

"Friends are like motorcycles... 'Cause I wish I had a motorcycle"

"My mother in law called me today and said? ""Come quick. I think I'm dying"" I said, ""Call me back when you're sure""."

"Why is it whenever we see a police car, we drive like we have 10 kilos of cocaine and a stolen baby in the car?"

"This subreddit has terrible puns on pretty much every subject. In particular, it has puns about the Scottish."

"LINCOLN: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt. TWITTER: No."

"Why did the baker have brown hands? He kneaded a poo"

"What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine? After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around."

"What does Gollum think about Gandalf's smoking addiction? Stupid, filthy habitses!"

"In a recent survey into blow jobs, and why men like them so much 6% liked the feeling, 12% liked the excitement and 82% just like the peace and quiet."

"That depressing moment when you plug your phone in your charger and hours later you realise your charger wasn't plugged in."