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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Barrack Obama and Tiger Woods? Tiger Woods only wants to fuck your wife."

"Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?"

"What is a buttress? A female goat."

"Two men were remembering their wedding days. ""It was dreadful"" said Fred. ""I got the most terrible fright."" ""What happened?"" asked Harry. ""I married her"" replied Fred."

"My wife told me I had to give up drinking So I joined the AA. Unfortunately, I joined the Automobile Association by mistake. At least either way I'm on the road to recovery."

"I've got ten texts msgs today asking me for sex tonight. I wouldn't have minded, but I've borrowed my girlfriend's cell phone for the day."

"One does not simply talk to their pet in a normal voice....no they don't, oh no they don't."

"I'm gonna have an Avengers themed birthday party But don't tell anyone, I'm trying to keep it Loki."

"It's 2012. We're supposed to have flying cars and stuff. But no... Just pajamas that look like jeans."

"I only have one hand.... So i shop at secondhand stores."