209916

Joke of the Day

"I think I was an unwanted child I'm 36 years old and my mother is still chasing me around with a coat hanger"

"As an obese man, I think I would make a pretty good presidential candidate. I too only run once every four years."

"""Ok, hear me out. What if we gave people enough for three fries?"" -guy who invented ketchup packets"

"What's the difference between a waiter and a waitress? The size of the tip."

"I wondered why the train was getting bigger... then it hit me"

"How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb? None. In Russia, light bulb changes you."

"Heard this one in a film you all might have seen A man is talking to his son and says, ""You know, son, if you don't stop masturbating, you're going to go blind."" The son says, ""Dad, I'm over here."""

"If cats could text you back, they wouldn't."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? The Road done him a bad turn."

"Know what's the hardest thing about having sex with a Japanese girl? Trying to find an octopus at 11PM."