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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a waiter and a waitress? The size of the tip."

"What is this superb owl of which you speak?"

"If Hitler were a black supremacist English teacher what would the Holocaust be called? White-out."

"Me: my doctor says if I get annoyed I could die You: so you can't watch that YouTube link? Me: I'm saying it's dangerous to even send them"

"Whats the difference between a chicken and an alligator? I don't know."

"I've been happily married for four years -out of a total of 10."

"My whole life is that moment when you send an important e-mail mentioning an attachment without the actual attachment."

"When I greeted my boss in the morning, he told me to have a good day. Who am I to argue? So I thanked him and went back home."

"They should really have disposable razors in the women's bathrooms at bars."

"Saw an ISIS poster yesterday It read ""Sign up for ISIS today! Receive free jacket and blowjob!"""