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Joke of the Day
"Like my therapist always says, ""I'm not your therapist, you're just laying on a couch in Ikea"""
Next Joke
"Would a cheetah cheat on his wife? No, but a tiger would."
"So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it."
"What is the difference between an egg and a redditor? Eggs get laid at least once."
"What kind of mint is the hardest to swallow? Abandonment."
"In 2016 Scott Baio has called Hillary Clinton a cunt, Chris Christie has called her a criminal and Ben Carson has called her a Lucifer worshiper. What will they call her in 2017? Madam President."
"Tip from my mom: Always wear your bathrobe when at home. Then if somebody stops by unexpectedly you're ""just about to hop in the shower""."
"I bet the Americans feel really stupid now. They've spent millions fighting ISIS when all they had to do was change their profile picture."
"Me: I snuck in my own candy and a drink Her: This is a funeral home Me: Without a snack bar"
"Life is like box of chocolates ... it doesn't last long for the fat people."