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Joke of the Day

"How could I forget, mate? At an Australian parliament meeting, two guys were shouting back and forth and one said: ""I am a country member!"" and the other said: ""Oh, I remember!"""

"Time I spend listening to music 54 seconds. Time I spend untangling headphones 17 minutes"

"If you carry a baseball bat in your car, you should carry a glove too. Your lawyer will thank you."

"I thought my son would like that I bought him a trampoline, but oh no. He just wants to sit and cry in his wheelchair."

"Knock knock anti-joke Knock knock Who's there? Not Adolf Hitler . . ."

"Don't you just hate it when people answer their own questions? I do."

"What do you get... What do you get when you try to inject Human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo, apparently."

"A man is talking to his friend who has recently been diagnosed with cancer Not knowing what to say he awkwardly asks him ""how's the cancer?"" He replies ""I dunno it's kinda growing on me"""

"Why do blacks raise chickens? To teach their kids how to walk."

"It is Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend ...and I'm just thankful that I'll have ebola turkey soup and not ebola the deadly disease."