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Joke of the Day

"I was at a store and I saw some yogurt in a big bag with a spout... I guess that you could say the yogurt was pour quality"

"Why can't an Italian snake talk? Because it doesn't have any hands."

"Last time I wore my celery costume out in public I was arrested for stalking."

"What's white, hard, and 12 inches long? Nothing."

"What is H.P. Lovecraft's cook book called? The Necronomnomnomicon."

"Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Regular rocks are too heavy."

"Father: How do you like going to school? Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!"

"if ur mom kisses the dog he becomes ur dad"

"[shows jury picture of gruesome murder scene] *they all gasp* That was my initial reaction too. Those shoes with those pants?"

"Who's got two thumbs and might be doing this police lineup wrong?"