155064

Joke of the Day

"""911 whats ur emergency"" omg im DYING ""we'll send someone right awa"" i met THE funiest guy ""ok wait so ur not actualy"" AND HE STABBED ME"

"In what month are Rabbis dishonest? Jew-lie"

"How did the babysitter lose 500 kids and keep her job? She swallowed"

"Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face."

"Dont look at my username. You looked, dint you? Dint I tell you not to? Dont you have any control? ANY control? You stoopid?.... Get it?"

"There isn't such a thing as a communist school is there... They're all in classes?"

"Welcome to your 40s! Your body will do new and exciting things such as sneeze-pee, yawn-burp, and light speed chin hair growth."

"What's a feminist's favorite math class? Triggernometry."

"What do terrorists say to their sister? H'Isis"

"My life is like a romantic comedy expect there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes"