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Joke of the Day

"PHIL COLLINS: Here tonight is the man who inspired my next song, ""Fat Shithead Clogged My Toilet."" [spotlight tracks me as I head for Exit]"

"""I'm THIRSTY!"" ""Can I have a drink?"" ""DAAAAAAAAD!"" ""I WANT WAAAAAAAAAAAAATER!"" See? My son can turn water into whine, too. Your move, God."

"So my friend said to ex girlfriend ""Please dont throw me under the bus"" I replied "" Ya thats right throw her under the subway"""

"Abortion - it really brings out the child in you. Anyone got any similar puns? Also: - 9/11 jokes are just plane rude."

"Why are dogs in a lot of pain? Because they chew balls."

"What's big and green and sits in the corner? The Incredible Sulk!"

"sorry i'm late, i have terrible time management skills and zero perception of distance as it pertains to speed of travel"

"You know how I can prove Jesus wasn't black? Because the body of Christ was a cracker!"

"why do they throw shit at a pakistani wedding? keeps the flies away from the bride"

"A photon walks through a bar"