194890

Joke of the Day

"What happened to the Italian chef when he died? He *pasta way*."

"I find myself addicted to this website just like my Father before me. Guess why that is? It's He*reddit*tary."

"Me: Sometimes you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, enfarcorate, and move on. You know what I'm saying? Friend: ..."

"A priest and a rabbi Are walking past a school, the priest says to the rabbi hey want to screw a little boy and the rabbi says to the priest screw him out of what?!"

"Muffins - for people who don't have the guts to order cake for breakfast."

"I'll be signing books at Barnes & Noble from 6 p.m. to whenever they kick me out for ruining all their books."

"""do you know the best way to get rid of a wasp nest?"" no, try using your phone [throws phone and hits wasp nest] *running* I meant google it"

"A haunted house, but instead of masked creatures it's filled with everyone's mother-in-laws."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one but the bulb has to really want to change."

"[Auto-shop class] ""Cody, for the last time, it's still a carburetor even when it's in a van"" *raises hand* ""Or a truck"" *lowers hand*"