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Joke of the Day

"14 years ago tonight, a loaf of frozen reindeer shit fell from the sky & struck my father, killing him instantly."

"When my wife tells me to wear sunscreen and I refuse to listen, it shows that I am my own man who is badly sunburned."

"According to these Father's Day gift sections, all dads are clean shaven business men that love playing golf and think they're #1."

"what's red and smells like blue paint? red paint"

"And breaking news, a man has been rushed to hospital after having 6 plastic horses shoved up his ass. He is in a stable condition."

"What's the difference between an orphanage and a beach ball? You won't go to prison for blowing up a beach ball."

"Look. If we're going with redundancies like ""tunafish"", I'll just have my beefmeat and be done with it."

"I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus Good thing he didn't see what mommy did after bedtime ..."

"What do you call a night watchman with deep-set self-esteem issues? An insecurity guard "

"Do you know why Santa Claus doesn't have any kids? Because he only gets to come once a year and thats down a chimney."