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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? They fall through his hands."

"Yo mamma is so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping from the basement window."

"What do you call a dog with no hind legs and metal balls? Sparky"

"Why do Men find it hard to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes."

"What is brown and has got four legs and an arm? A Rottweiler on a children's playground."

"How does a spider know if he just had sex with an actual female? She eats him alive afterward."

"My girlfriend steals all the blankets in her sleep and I wake up cold, next to an adorable linen burrito."

"I asked my mate what he was going to get his mum for Mothers' day. ""Nothing!"" he said. ""Why do they get a whole day to themselves, why can't we have a Son Day?"" We do mate, it comes after Saturday."

"We should not be calling girls ""thirsty"".... Let's start calling them ""D"" hydrated"

"Child protective services? Who's protecting the parents Huh? WHO'S PROTECTING THE PARENTS?"