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Joke of the Day

"Punthagorean Theorem A and B are pretty square, but get to the root of C and you'll find he's always high, pot in use."

"Want to solve the energy crisis? Develop a car that runs on self-delusion. Me and my fellow Americans have an unlimited supply."

"I hope the zombies start with people that talk to me when I'm obviously counting."

"I like to drink and run. I call it ""Bacardio""."

"Today's no reddit day. Don't reply to this"

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? Because I really don't like running the 400M dash."

"A husband and wife are fighting. The wife says ""You've got the smallest penis I've ever seen!"" The husband shoots back ""Then we're a perfect fit for each other, cause you're a shallow cunt!"""

"What do you call a boyscout in WWII-era Germany? A knotzi."

"I bought my wife a refrigerator for her birthday. I know it's not the best gift in the world, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it."

"Movie comes on while im in bed: ugh ive seen this a million times Movie comes on before I have to get ready for work: oh hell yea a classic"