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Joke of the Day

"Want to solve the energy crisis? Develop a car that runs on self-delusion. Me and my fellow Americans have an unlimited supply."

"Eaten so many blue cheese stuffed olives today that it feels like France and Greece are waging a war for land in my intestines."

"A new study found that 12 percent of married adults met their spouses online.The other 88 percent met somebody else's spouse online"

"Wake and bake and bake and bake and bake and bake - really busy pothead chefs daily itinerary"

"I'm trying to get in shape and be more politically correct. I rehydrate with LGBTQtorade"

"[bum holds his hand out] ""can I have some change?"" change comes from within ""thank u. now I'm not poor anymore"""

"Some say putting helium in animals is wrong. I say whatever floats your goat."

"Why did the rooster buy mittens? So his chicken fingers wouldn't get cold. I'll leave now"

"A sadist doctor keeps his stethoscope in a fridge"

"What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas? It was wound up already."