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Joke of the Day

"Want to solve the energy crisis? Develop a car that runs on self-delusion. Me and my fellow Americans have an unlimited supply."

"My internet was just down for 5 minutes, Im okay, but the 9-1-1 operator was being a total bitch about it."

"[Meta] Anyone else hate jokes that are too long? They usually have too many characters."

"My european friend Opee is opening up a restaurant where he claims to have the 'worlds best pizza'. His restaurant is in the middle of no where, but don't worry Opee Delivers"

"I can't wait to listen to the new Kelly Rowland album... I believe it's called ""Milk, Milk"""

"What do you call an Asian woman with a leg shorter than the other? Irene"

"Somebody complimented me in my driving today... They left a little note on the windshield, it said ""Parking Fine."""

"I was having sex with this girl, and she said some other guy's name. I was pissed. Who the fuck is Rape?"

"I hung a horseshoe above the door for goodluck. My wife still came home. Superstitions are stupid."

"Did you hear the one about the man who got swallowed by a whale? Turns out he survived by running all the way to the end until he was all pooped out!"