209325

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a politician and a mortician? A Mortician waits until after you're dead to fuck you."

"Knock knock Who's there? An owl An owl who? That's my line!"

"Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? A: Works pretty well, doesn't it?"

"I had that nightmare again last night where I tweet 141 characters"

"""IS ANYONE HERE A DOCTOR?!?"" I screamed on the plane. 3 men shot up. ""Ok, now are any of you single? I need a sugar daddy. I do butt stuff."""

"Frozen pizza recalled? The government appears to have changed tactics to combat drug users: Legalize pot, but take away their food."

"What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout? A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street."

"Where do hamburgers go to dance? To a meatball."

"I go to a muscular dystrophy support group. We meet weakly."

"Make the little things count! Teach midgets maths!"