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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between mass and weight? Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday, and weight is where sundaes go on Catholics. (From a poster on the ceiling in my dentists office)"

"Where do Jewish kids go in the summer to learn to study better? Concentration camp"

"Scott. Scott goes to a party Scott knocks on the door Scott is greeted by more popular kids Scott is excluded from the party Scott no friends"

"The grass isn't always greener on the other side. It's greener where you water it."

"What's M. Night Shyamalan's favorite flavor of ice cream? Twist"

"-i am going to hell for this ""That's a sexy little outfit you're wearing,"" I said. ""I bet you want my cock in you."" ""Dave,"" my wife said, ""do you know I can hear you on the baby monitor?"""

"I tried to catch fog once... I mist"

"How should a doctor treat a patient with Mesothelioma? Asbestos he can."

"They should rename the SA80 to Bob Marley Because it's always jammin'"

"Don't assume I have a bad memory if I don't remember what you tell me. More than likely its becasue I don't like you enough to pay attention"