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Joke of the Day

"Don't assume I have a bad memory if I don't remember what you tell me. More than likely its becasue I don't like you enough to pay attention"

"These microwaved pot stickers taste like fixed income."

"Why do Pandas have such a hard time mating in captivity? Because all of their broads are in Atlanta"

"You know what a Walrus and Tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal"

"The only way to make conservatives feel threatened by climate change is to convince them the climate is gay."

"You guys! I'm so excited, I just hooked up with my crush from middle school. ...but now she keeps calling me expecting me to show up at her graduation."

"My German friend brought his newly-bought laptop to me... ...and said ""I shouldn't have bought one with a English keyboard. Can you tell me what this is?"" He then pointed at the space bar."

"Me: I want to take you home and drink you up baby Case of beer: I have a boyfriend"

"Donald Trump is Boycotting Oreos Deez Nuts lives on a farm eatin all healthy. Donald Trump has reportedly boycotted Oreos. Guess you could say Deez Nuts is rubbing off on him."

"How do you fit four gays on one stool? Flip it upside-down. (sorry in advance)"