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Joke of the Day

"What starts with e, ends with e, and has a letter in it. envelope"

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"Age is important only if you're cheese and wine."
"Writing a good suicide note is hard, especially if you don't know that person's handwriting."
"The worst thing about kissing the person who loves you the most is when you bang your teeth off the mirror"
"David Bowie died at 69, Alan Rickman died at 69... ... Donald Trump is 69. We are all crossing our fingers."
"If a person dies after suffering an average number of strokes for their age did they make par?"
"What is faster hot or cold? Hot because you can actually ""catch a cold""."
"I had two ribs removed so I could pet small dogs easier."
"My wife is suffering from depression. She phoned me the other day and said ""I feel like jumping in front of a bus and you're not doing anything to help"". So I sent her a timetable."
"Why do women live longer than men? God gives them the time back they spent parking."