20908

Joke of the Day

"What do you give a sick pig? Oinkment!"

"I called the Rape Advice Line earlier today. Turns out it's only for victims."

"My sister texted and asked if she and her kids could come over, and now I'm frantically looking for a new place to live."

"My dad's sign was cancer. Its so ironic how he died. He was attacked by a giant crab."

"I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer today. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party? Because nobody likes his company!"

"Why did the guitarist go to prison? Because he fingered A Minor."

"[throwes some foam packing peanuts into a pond] ""HEY! NO LITERING--"" shh wait [a flock of rubber duckies float over squeaking excitedley]"

"Putin: I have returned Russia to its glory days, once again we have launched a dog into space Reporter: when will it return Putin: WHat"

"What's a Tijuana hooker's favorite president? El BJ!"