196098

Joke of the Day

"[throwes some foam packing peanuts into a pond] ""HEY! NO LITERING--"" shh wait [a flock of rubber duckies float over squeaking excitedley]"

"Guys, is it okay that I kinda hate the obsequious rhetorical questions people ask when they want to sound like a wry, world-weary populist?"

"When preparing blood sausage, never cook it in the same pan as crip sausage."

"Being a judge incorporates my two favorite things: wearing a robe and judging people. I missed my calling."

"I could never be gay I just can't have sex with someone I respect"

"Four ply humor. My wife asks me? I want a boob job. I told her, rub some toilet paper between your tits. You wipe your ass with it all the time. Look how big your ass is."

"A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does."

"Why are camels considered the ships of the desert? They are full of arab semen."

"Trapped in a crevice. ""Go on boy, get help."" The dog chews off my one free arm. ""Ok yeah bring that back to town I guess"""

"What is headache ? 5 minutes talk to wife."