209027

Joke of the Day

"The UK is leaving the EU and because of that, Scotland is moving for another Independence Referendum... So the english are going to get away scot free!"

"Big vote today in England. If Leave wins I predict : Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium"

"The cops said 911 was for emegencies only and not for me to report suspicious looking clouds."

"A young girl walks in on her dad peeing... The dad fumbles around trying to cover up. Then the girl says ""don't worry dad. I've seen one before. Mommy brushes her teeth with the neighbor's."""

"What does Matthew McConaughey think about an all white, Republican Government? Altright, altright, altright"

"Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, its down the chimney."

"I get so excited when someone brings out the cake at a birthday party because that means I can leave soon."

"I finally found a girlfriend and when I did I got really pumped. Sadly after a year in the storage she needed a lot of pumping as well."

"My son keeps putting out the fire in the fireplace Should I take him out of there?"

"How do you starve a lazy person. You put the welfare check in his work boots."