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Joke of the Day

"Big vote today in England. If Leave wins I predict : Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium"

"What's the difference between Ant and Dec and lesbian sex? Nothing. They're both just a couple of cunts bouncing off each other."

"What's worse than a fish in the SS? *Adolf*in. Man, I did *Nazi* that coming."

"Welcome to the Plastic Surgery Addiction Clinic I can see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I've gotta say, I'm pretty dissapointed."

"Man A: Would you suck my cock if I cleaned it? Man B: No.. Man A: You dirty cocksucker!!!"

"What did the owl say to the squirrel? Nothing. Because owls don't talk. Then it ate the squirrel, because owls are birds of prey."

"I threw my girlfriend a surprise bukkake party. You should have seen her face."

"Question *Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards? *A: He was sitting on the deck."

"Today a feminist asked me how I view lesbians. Apparently ""in HD"" wasn't the right answer."

"Just found out that 'aaaaarrrrggghhhh' isn't a real word I can't tell you how angry I am"