209021

Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pterodactyl is extinct."

"How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains."

"Believe what a plumber says They've seen some shit."

"I work at a coin factory. It just makes cents to me."

"I told my hairdresser to just take a little bit off the top... It makes me more relaxed when I can see her breasts."

"Why don't you go down on a girl first thing in the morning? Haven't you ever peeled apart a hot grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Caterpillars: Neither cats NOR pillars."

"[Interrogation room] Good cop: ""Confess and we will go easy on you"" Sweet tooth cop: ""You bes- *hears music* -ICE CREAM MAN!"" *runs outside*"

"Ugly sweater day at work. I'm wearing a new, really nice expensive sweater but walking around saying ""ugh, please, this old thing."""

"Judas: Still on for Friday? ""Jesus: Friday?"" ""Judas: Yeah, the Last Supper."" ""Jesus: The what?"" ""Judas: Supper. Normal supper with the fellas."""