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Joke of the Day

"Ugly sweater day at work. I'm wearing a new, really nice expensive sweater but walking around saying ""ugh, please, this old thing."""

"*gets crushed by a bus* *checks to see if phone is intact*"

"Bernie Sanders has no chance as long as Theres a Trump virus going around on this website?"

"What's the difference between Broccoli and boogers? Kids don't eat broccoli."

"Jokes you used to tell as a kid Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- MOOOOOOO"

"Husband and wife near wishing well. Suddenly wife slips and fell in the well. Terrified husband: Noooooooooo...I can't believe it's working!"

"Which element is most likely to surrender an electron? Francium."

"If you got a butcher who is 6'2, what does he weigh? Meat."

"So Goldilocks is casing the bears' house, figuring she can heist their stash of crystal meth, when all of a sudden ... . . . Andrew Dice Clay sticks his head in the door and says ..."

"My sex life is like a Ferrari! I don't have a Ferrari."