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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a mentally challenged lion? A leotard"

"Consider one of the most perplexing questions of our time: Where do' solutions go when a candidate gets elected?"

"What's green and smells of pork? Kermit's cock"

"My husband fell asleep while watching Memento...was shocked to find ""remember to NOT trust your wife"" written on his forehead with a Sharpie"

"I just got fired for putting my penis in the pickle slicer at the restaurant where I work She only got docked a week's pay"

"""No woman, no cry."" - Tarzan breaking up with girlfriend."

"Sorry, I can't make it. Can't find my ""goin out"" sweatpants."

"I've often wondered, how do devout Christians handle being raped? Y'know, with that whole ""turn the other cheek"" thing?"

"The hardest part about being a photographer is deciding which half of my picture to ruin with my giant ugly company watermark."

"Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets."