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Joke of the Day

"C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar... The bartender shows them the door and says, ""Sorry, we don't serve minors."""

"What's red and invisible? No tomatoes"

"So i watched a scary movie last night. It was so scary my shit took a shit"

"What do vegetables say when they go to party's? TURNUP!"

"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years... Come on guys, I don't have 2021 vision! Oh wait...."

"What do you call a socialite stripper? a peeler of the community!"

"If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I'm having sex ... Probably with the other sock."

"Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool ? Because they couldn't hold their trunks up !"

"I was walking through a cemetery, and I saw a guy crouched behind a gravestone, so I said ""morning"", to which he replied ""no just taking a shit""."

"What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador! Woof"