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Joke of the Day

"Gas prices have me feeling like I'm robbing the gas station. ""Just leave, before they change their mind."""

"Overheard: ""I think that guy is listening to us."""

"Being an ice cream delivery guy must be a cool job."

"Why don't you ever eat a girl out in the morning? Have you ever tried to pull apart a grilled cheese?"

"*doctor moonwalks into office* ""Your test results are back Mr Johnson. You tested positive for BEING FABULOUS!!"" *Mr Johnson does the robot*"

"I went to the funeral of the man who invented the throat lozenge. There was no coffin."

"Alcohol does not make you fat. It makes you lean. Mostly against walls, tables, chairs, bars, floors & occasionally, weirdos .."

"Want to hear the smartest thing to ever come out of a woman's mouth? (Bar Joke) Einstein's dick"

"Watch 'Titanic' backwards and it's the feel-good story of a ship that rescues a bunch of drowning swimmers and takes them on a dream cruise."

"Where do Jewish kids go in the summer to learn to study better? Concentration camp"